A Year Without My Brother
/Today marks the one year anniversary. A year ago. A whole year. A short year. The longest year of my life. My whole life changed when I got that voicemail at 5 am from my estranged grandmother. Her voice was cold, as always. Her words came out as if it was a pizza delivery order. My brother had been hit and killed while riding his bike home from work.
My world shattered and today, more than other days, I remember that pain. I also remember how the team jumped into action. My little Hickey Bennett family of friends and loved ones. LB called Ashley and Esther immediately. I called Peek. Liz came over. Candace came over. Anna came over. They performed the ultimate task: they showed up. A ton of other people showed up for me this day too. But the most important one that showed up was Trenton.
He was with me constantly through the next month- not a minute went by where I didn't feel him with me. I kept asking him, "Did you see the truck coming? Did you know you were going to die? Were you ..." And I couldn't and can't still ask him that. My big brother, who was the most sensitive soul, I can't know from him if he was scared.
What I do know is that everyone on a bike in Denver either gets a silent prayer for their safety or I send a little bit of panic in their direction on a bad day. I do know that even though there were years of silence that seemed impenetrable between us, he loved me the best he could. I miss him everyday, but after a year. A whole great big year. A short year. A great year... I miss him a lot.
